A night where everything shifts. On this day, I needed to dance. Too long without dance in my life. Me, who loves to dance, who think dance is life, I stopped for several years. So I looked like that, with one eye still distracted, little confident that I'll find a course for the same evening. And lo and behold...

It was march, in full week. In my head, entries are closed, the performances of the end of the year being up and I didn't want to go into a school as we can see on the internet and the networks, these schools of quasi-professionals. No, I just wanted a school where you feel good, where the errors are accepted without judgment. So it was almost in vain. And yet. However, I came across a post of a dance school that invited us to join them, on the same day. Courses of dance therapy. Oops. Dance therapy. Me, who just got out of therapy "classic" long, go to a dance class therapy ? No thank you. And then, after all, why not ? I had a furious desire to dance and the school did me in the eye since the computer screen. And a single course, this was not the end of the world, of the time that I was dancing, I let go of the movements, the emptiness filled me to forget my worries for the moment....

So I sent an email, briefly explained but, precisely, certain things, such as my absolute refusal to be touched by someone. No problem, replied the person on the other side of the computer.

20: 30. Thursday. Already very uncomfortable in groups of people that I know, that was very very difficult to manage emotionally. And in this huge hall, filled with mirrors, no curtain, no corner to hide, as I love so well. Good, I wanted to, I'm here, and I want to dance.

Input, circle words. One by one, each one tells what she wants, his desires, his weather indoor. The girls know each other, hang out, are benevolent. It is my turn. I pass. Impossible to speak in front of the unknown to tell me. The course continues, sitting in a circle, eyes closed. I feel, however the looks, the presences, as if I was eaten by the other. Half-turn. I can't stay so, let me alone ! I physically isolates it from turning. There it will get better, I breathe, I feel protected. Suddenly, a presence behind me. A question. "Can I touch you ?" I don't dare say no, and that's something I would learn to tell later ! It touches me on the back. The back ! My area is the most painful to the touch ! And oddly enough, I'm not evil. His touch is very light, hardly laid, delicate and very warm. I feel an immense goodness of soul, warmth and kindness. Just wanted to reassure him. Without a word. As I like to. And she leaves, leaving me there, with myself.

The course continues with a series... difficulties also. Here the point bar, techniques, and choreography, only a dance of the soul, inner and profound. Dance to express themselves. Speak without words, without thinking. General block by me. It is too hard. I can't dance like that in front of the other. Dance freely, without't imposed is equivalent to say aloud everything that is happening in me. Impossible. I just want to dance alone with no one around. Yet each is in its own bubble, no judge no man. But I can't, my body refuses to move. I freeze. And that's it. Little by little, I take refuge against the wall, away from the others. Fortunately, the room is big. His eyes lowered, no one sees me. Finally, I believe it. I want to melt into the wall, I hide and disappear. I can't escape, of course, the output is on the other side of the room. And then go, it is only 1h30 of course. I'm going to be able to survive. Then I try to fade into the background, literally, to go unnoticed. As usual. But it's not working. As usual. And there, Pascale, the dance teacher, walks up to me, smile to his lips, and plunges a powerful look into my eyes and said : "you have the choice. You are the creator of your life. " and goes on, without asking for his remains. The blow is struck. This has created a shift in me. A shock. I feel bad. Normal. I no longer danced to this first course. Neither spoke. A silence outside reflecting a crowded noisy inside. And not only.

This first course has influenced me. This meeting is tattooed forever be engraved in me.

Despite this wild behavior, difficulties, I came back. With apprehension, sorrow, pain. But with a terrible urge to be there, to dance, even barely, to cry sometimes much, smile too and listen intensely. Every time and even now, several years later, and training of a teacher of dance therapy ended, I continue to be shaken up, upset, propelled towards myself.

It is as if, deep inside me, I knew that this was going to make me "good" as they say.

Because this is the dance therapy. We talk a little, we dance, we listen to music that was powerful and the words just for Easter. Always just, caring. We are constantly surrounded. The other students are in the same situation as us. Then we let go, little by little, gently, course after course. It takes the ease, we dare you not to, because here, no judgment, no look of reproach, only kindness, admiration and mutual assistance.

We dance so free, with ourselves and with others. To meet and meet the other. To be free, to speak when words are stuck in the throat, or more deeply. We dance without asking questions, without judgment or criticism, just by taking consciousness of our soul, our inner self, hidden under walls, tons of stones well sealed between them.

And over the course, we feel the benefit. The walls crack, the stones are being lifted, gaps are created to sometimes leave some laughs explode or tears escape. At the time, it is hard, in the head, in the body, it feels tight, dry, burning, shaking. But it is in a secure place, well surrounded. Then all is well. And cry, good or bad, no matter, it releases. This releases all that was properly buried, which prevented us from living fully because in the end, we knew that something was lying there, we ate at a small fire. Then one learns to accept that he is there and to leave. This is done by dancing. Dance, again and again, as you want, as you can feel it, freely, like a child. Dancing to get drunk ! Feel her body, to move, to be more free, without chain, what a pleasure ! All emotions pass between us, we learn to recognize them, to play with, and especially to let it flow and escape. The course always ends up in the joy and the laughter. Even if everyone has been disrupted by the current, it returns to us, to the other, smiling for real, we speak a few, each, in turn, freely. 

We would like that it never stops. Because you can feel, finally, the life in us, this essence browse every part of the body. And then, little by little, you realize that it takes well-being with us, outside of the course. And it again, because it hurts so much to feel alive, for real ! It was my big break in the dance therapy. And I never will regret it never.

Then your turn to dive into this magical universe...